Vain Hope
by A Gypsy's Heart
Summary: Spoiler Alert! Based off of the scenes in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II: This is my idea of what may have have happened when Snape discovered Lily that night in Godric's Hollow.
1. Vain Hope

**Ok, so like most people, I went to go see the new/last HP movie :) And I loved the beautiful memory scene they gave to one of my favorite characters: Severus Snape. I thought I would write a little story as to what happened when he found Lily after the Dark Lord had paid her a visit. Please Read and Review**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter franchise nor any of the characters.**

It is Vain to Hope

He stood in front of the destroyed house, knowing deep down what he would find inside. He wanted to be proven wrong, but knew it was vain to hope. While everyone else in the Wizarding World would be celebrating at the news of the Dark Lord's downfall, Snape needed to know what it had cost.

The house was dark, except for the glow from the tip of his wand and the few flashed of lightening outside. He walked through the living room, all of the furniture overturned. He turned the corner and found James Potter's lifeless body by the stairs. Snape knew he was running up them to protect his small family. For once in his life, Snape wished his rival had succeeded in his efforts. He looked upon James's body not with spite, but with pity and fear. A sound came from upstairs, a baby cry.

Had the Dark Lord failed in his mission? If the child lived, what had happened?

His questions were answered as he saw the nursery door blasted open and a white hand stretched out on the floor. Maybe it wasn't here. Maybe it was the nanny, but he knew they didn't have one. He held his breath and prepared his heart for the worse as he slowly walked closer.

He had not prepared his heart enough.

Lily's dead form on the floor had placed the Death Eater Severus Snape in such a state of horror; he lost the ability to stand and collapsed on the door frame.

"NO!" he wailed in agony as hot tears filled his eye. His tear-filled black eyes found her empty green eyes. "Lily," he croaked hoarsely as he crawled to her. "Lily… no… Lily" he sobbed.

"Come back… Come back… I love you!" he choked as he took her up into his arm. He gently pushed her fiery red hair out of her beautiful white face. He had to close her eyes because he could not bear to see them without the life they once held. He kissed her cold forehead as more tears flowed and his heart ripped into millions of pieces.

His hot tears met her face as he rocked back and forth, creating the illusion that she, too, was crying. His sobs dulled into a whimper as he lost the ability to produce more tears. The crying child's voice, however, did not stop. Snape looked up from his agony to see the child in his crib.

This was Harry. This was the reason Lily had died. Anger and hatred for the child swelled up inside of Snape. If this child had never been born, Lily would still be alive, she wouldn't have died to protect him. He raised his wand to the young face of James Potter, but Lily's eyes stopped him from whispering the spell. The bright green eyes were set in the child's face and Snape could not bear to kill the last living piece of his beloved Lily.

He examined the infant's face to see blood trickling down from lightening shaped cut on his forehead towards the emerald eyes. As he held the mother in his arms, he charmed a cloth to clean the scratch on Harry's face away from Lily's precious eyes. He turned back to Lily and ignored the child for the rest of his time there. The babe was not frightened by Snape's voice as he whispered the incantation, but instead was soothed by it. Harry stopped his crying.

"Oh Lily, I am so sorry," he croaked, "Please forgive me, please, please, please. I never meant for this to happen. I love you," he whispered, "I always will." He sobbed again as he laid her gently on the ground. He knew he could not afford to stay any longer. The Order of the Phoenix would be here any minute and he didn't need to be found cradling Lily when they did. He gently kissed her cold face again and looked at her one last time. Snape then disapperated to find the only person he could turn to now: Dumbledore.


	2. Grieving

**I could not help myself! I HAD to write the next step for Snape. I hope you enjoy and please Read and Review! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the Harry Potter series or its characters. I used the majority of the conversation between Snape and Dumbledore from the book, but added my own spin in with it.**

**Grieving**

As soon as he walked out of the Forbidden Forrest, onto Hogwarts grounds, Dumbledore could sense his presence. Ever since the news had reached him only moments ago, the headmaster knew Snape would come. It was only a matter of time, and now here it was.

Snape's robes billowed in the wind as he stood before the castle he had had so many wonderful and regretful memories of Lily. This castle contained the best and the worst memories he possessed. Worst up 'til now. He did not take ten steps before Dumbledore appeared in front of him. The old man looked to the younger and saw his agony. Dumbledore merely offered his arm.

"Let's go to my office, Severus." He said in a gentle voice.

Once inside his office, Dumbledore offered Severus a chair. He collapsed into it and began weeping, not caring that another man stood in the room staring at him.

"I take it, that the news of Lily and James Potter has reached you?" Dumbledore said after a long moment as Snape wept.

"I… found… her," he croaked. "I… held her…in… my arms… dead!" he cringed. Dumbledore stepped towards Snape and placed a wrinkled hand on the chair.

"I understand, Severus."

"NO! You can't understand how I feel!" Snape shouted in sudden, but expected rage. Dumbledore just stepped away to his window as Snape continued to cry. Though he did not press the matter, he did know the suffering that Snape was now enduring. He, too, had cradled the lifeless body of one he so dearly loved. He, too, had wished her eyes would open and all would be well again. But Arianna's eyes did not open again, and neither did Lily's.

A sting came to Dumbledore as he remembered his sister, but he pushed it away. He had already grieved. This was Severus Snape's time to grieve.

"I thought… you were going… to keep her…safe…." He sobbed. If he could have taken anyone's word, it would have been his. And now even Dumbledore had failed at keeping Lily safe.

"She and James put their faith in the wrong person. Rather like you, Severus." Snape looked up as Dumbledore continued. "Weren't you hoping that Lord Voldemort would spare her?"

It was true. Snape could not deny that he had prayed to every god he had heard of, that the Dark Lord would grant his one request. He had put his faith in the wrong person, and now he must pay the cruelest of all consequences. He remembered his conversation with the Dark Lord.

"_You ask that I do what, Severus?" hissed Voldemort. Snape bowed in fear._

"_Please, my Lord, you just need the boy, why spill anymore magical blood than necessary?" he tried to convince his master._

"_Indeed, it would be a loss," he amused himself in Snape's uneasiness. "But why should I spare her, a member of the Order of the Phoenix and a Mudblood nonetheless."_

_Snape cringed at the hateful word. _

"_Because a single woman is of no threat to you, my Lord," he begged. "We were friends, once, she and I." Voldemort could see the longing in his voice and relished in the anxiety he was causing his minion._

"_What low standards of company you keep, Severus." Laughed the Dark Lord, "Very well. I shall spare her life, in exchange for her son."_

"_Thank you, my Lord," Snape said, but knowing deep down, Lily would never exchange her child, even for her own life._

"Her son lives," said Dumbledore, gaining Snape's attention from the dark catacombs of his mind. "He has her eyes, precisely her eyes." Snape, who had already see Lily's emerald eyes in the face of James Potter's child, felt a sharp pain in his heart. "You remember the shape and color of Lily Evans's eyes, I'm sure?"

"DON'T!" he shouted again. How could he forget? They were engraved into his memory and would never cease to haunt him for the remainder of his empty life. "Gone…dead…"

"Is this remorse, Severus?"

"I wish… I wish I were dead…." He said, hoping that perhaps it would come true. At least in death, he could she Lily again. He hung his head in he hands.

"And what use would that do anyone?" Snape raised his head. "If you loved Lily Evans, if you truly loved her, then your way forward is clear." Snape's brow rose as he tried to understand Dumbledore's meaning. Of course he loved Lily! He still loves her even after she lay dead in his arms. He always would love her until he met her in death. But what way forward was there be for him, other than death?

The wise headmaster explained the necessity to continuously keep watch of Lily's son. Though the Dark Lord has disappeared for now, he will return to finish the mission he started. The thought of protecting the spawn of James Potter disgusted Snape, but the image of Lily in the boy's eyes made the idea less revolting. He could see Potter laughing in the afterlife at this prospect. The only incentive was that perhaps Lily was watching him, too.

"Never, never tell, Dumbledore!" he spat, "Swear it! I want your word!" Dumbledore agreed, but insisted that there was no shame in doing the right thing or being a good man.

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**And die a good man he did! The bravest of them all! Please Review and tell me your input, I'm dying for feedback!**


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